Friday:
Two days ago, I got an email from ANAD -National Association for Anorexia Nervosa.
There are no treatment options nearby.
The only option is online treatment with an therapist who specializes in ED's.
It's only for people who have a commitment to recover.
Recover
Cover
er?.
What, cover up the Ed, and have it dormant inside me waiting for a moment of weakness?
I don't know if am ready?
Saturday:
Awhile back, I fasted on weekends. It took several months to break that habit.
I woke up anxious over the possibility of recovery.
When I am anxious, I turn to the ED to block any thinking that causes me to be anxious.
I focus on that feeling of hunger and denying it. I made a step to try to recovery, I didn't take any laxatives, diet pills or dieter's tea today. I have been using them for more than one year and a half.
Every part of me, wanted to go on a fast because I wouldn't be able to get rid of it.
With my familys' help, I ate lunch. I couldn't eat breakfast or dinner.
But I did it.
I ate and didn't get rid of it!
Sunday:
I remember waking up an starring at the sky and getting lost in it's beauty.
Now, I am starring at this uneaten bowl of cereal. I was suppose to eat it for dinner yesterday.
There's another one next to it, my breakfast.
I am getting lost in thought, thinking about today.
There is going to be a family dinner that I can't get out of.... That I can't get rid of.
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